NOT THIS AGAIN...
My uncle is dying of cancer. He has perhaps only a few weeks left. The jaundice has already started.
There is nothing more saddening that the feeling that there is nothing I can do to help. There's very little that I can say to make anyone feel better. There's very little than I can say to him.
No "how are you doing?".. the answer to that is obvious.
No "get well soon".
I'm feeling rather melancholy today...
There is nothing more saddening that the feeling that there is nothing I can do to help. There's very little that I can say to make anyone feel better. There's very little than I can say to him.
No "how are you doing?".. the answer to that is obvious.
No "get well soon".
I'm feeling rather melancholy today...
posted by Toronto Tory at 6:16 PM
10 Comments:
I am sorry to hear about your tragedy. As a doctor I always ee that just being around a family member in these circumstances will bring comfort to both of you. God Bless Roy
I know it's not easy. My wife was a diabetic since she was seven. I married her knowing that it would be tough because her first husband bailed out and married her "best" friend but that is another story. Sue gave me almost ten years of unbridled love and dedication as she was losing her own battle. Blindness in one eye then the first bypass in the right leg, then the left leg then the re-bypass in the right. The amputation was more devastating to her parents than her but she was fitted with prosthesis and walked on. The amputation of the left leg was brutal. She never walked again. Sue's kidneys slowly failed and we started peritoneal dialysis which kept her going. Hard to believe but we went out, gave parties and literally roared around town. We both knew what the future would bring and we lived life to the max. We even went swimming which grossed out some people but we didn’t care. Each day was one more to do something. Then she went blind. Did we stop? No, we put more effort into making sure we visited our friends and made sure that nobody felt sorry for us. Sue had to come off CAPD because of infections, I think the offender was Buddy our cat who Sue really relied on. Hemodialysis is scary. We got on with that and worked around it as best we could and we stayed mobile. We went everywhere. Sue used to laugh when we would scoot to the head of lines in her wheelchair. Who would complain when they saw a legless and blind tiny woman?
Then the strokes. Three in a row. She slowly slipped away at seven in the morning just before breakfast, in my arms and a barely audible sigh. Buddy lay in her spot for days, she was 48 years old, it was 18 Sep 2000.
She gave her body to science at the University of Miami, Jackson Memorial Hospital diabetes center.
We all must pass, nobody has gotten out alive yet and it seems somehow so unfair to see someone slowly succumb to an illness that we have no way of stopping. I offer you this. I would visit and find out what your uncle remembers of his life and even tape it. Listen, he knows you know what is coming, give him your attention, don't feel sorry for him, make the most of what's left and just be there. Get every relative you can find to visit, show him you care by digging up everyone you can find that knew him to go see him before he goes. So many are afraid to visit the terminally ill, it's not that they don't care it's that they are afraid and insecure. Drag them all out. Celebrate what is left of life. He won't know how he was thought of after he is gone.
Sorry to hear.
Excellent words from roy and capt. craig.
You have to think of how you would want things if it was you dying. You would want the visitors, have people hear your reminiscences and if you had someone you argue politics with, you would want them there bickering with you just like always, and only slightly more sympathetically.
I am always reminded of those times in airports or bus stations where you are seeing someone off, and it often deepens a relationship more than anything else. You can't leave, since it is too close to the plane leaving, you hang around, pass time, talk, play cards or something. When I was much younger, I had bus station type experiences with people I didn't know, just met on the way, and we're being friends for the day waiting for one bus at the station where we part ways. Even with exchanged addresses, you know you will probably never see them again, and just try to be happy in those moments. In this situation, if you are religious, you have the hope of meeting again, but it's a lot like the new travel friend. It could be a long time, if ever, before you meet again and everything would have changed.
Take care.
TT, I'm truly sorry to read about this.
I will remember him in my prayers.
There is one thing you can maybe do to help him. Perhaps helping him rememember the good times in his life will make everyone see that his life has been meaningful and successful.
I've lost two grandparents and a father-in-law to cancer.
There's nothing you can say, just enjoy it while you can.
I'm sorry to hear it. I will think of you.
Hair on you, Capt. Craig.
Thank guys.
Capt. Craig, what a heartwarming story. Your wife sounds like an incredible person, as do you.
TT, I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. Having already lost so many to cancer, this must be feeling like an unwelcome yet unstoppable trainwreck. You've already received some excellent advice; you & your uncle are in my prayers.
My condolences, It's always hard losing someone. I hope that God gives you and your family strength to bear the loss and that he gives your uncle courage in the face of this transition.
He's still holding on.
Wow...
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home